According to my brilliant cousin Laura, skewwhiff is a word of 18th century Scottish origin meaning off balance.. According to my equally brilliant cousin Lynn sygogglin’ is also an apt word for this craziness that has claimed my brain!
Maybe I should back up a bit and explain to y’all just exactly why I feel like a Sygogglin’ Skewwhiff these days!
In 2013 I was diagnosed with Hashimotos Thyroiditis, an autoimmune condition that attacks the thyroid gland. I was pretty sick, but after I got on thyroid medication and worked at relieving stress it went into remission somewhat. When I stopped eating gluten, better still. After about a year the prescription ran out…
Without insurance, there was no way I could manage the blood work and office visit required…
I figured, autoimmune? It makes sense that it must mean your body is fighting itself, mind body and spirit not in sync.. right? Convince I could handle it with nutrition and meditation I jumped right in.. well that didn’t work! So I started self medicating for a year or so. Don’t ask. Also a major fail.
Well, sometime around January of last year, I started noticing changes. Occasional weakness in my arms and legs, brain fog like nothing I had ever experienced, aphasia.. I couldn’t find words, I had a hard time reading out loud..
(Trigger Alert. Do not read if you are bothered by talk of suicide)
But the worst was the depression, not sadness, just exhaustion, both mentally and physically, emptiness, completely devoid of feeling. Couldn’t figure out any reason for being here, and decided to kill myself.
But new grandbaby Liam was coming, so I rationalized waiting til after he was born so Christy didn’t have those dates conflated in her head.
One day I’m at lunch with Vicki & Bryna.. and something slipped and they stared at me like I had 3 heads and insisted I get to the doctor. I figured the cat was out of the bag, so unless I wanted to be committed, I should probably do something on my own.
I called my friend Claudia who started sticking pins in me the very next day, which was an amazing relief! I probably should say here, she’s an accupuncturist and nurse practitioner, not a voodoo whatyamacallit! She also got me some discounted blood work and sent me to see a naturopathic doctor. I also approached my friend Zoie and asked her for energy healing. AJ and Esther offered to pay the doctor bills. Suzie took me on vacation to her cousin Janet’s in Ohio. All these things got my head back in a more sane space. The blood work revealed extremely elevated TPO antibodies, which explained it all.. I was having a terrible Hashimotos flare up.
At this point, I’d like to say that I haven’t seen an endocrinologist, I did have a referral to one after my initial diagnosis, filled out the paperwork and found out a consultation was over $1100. Not doable. But there’s no cure for Hashimoto’s anyway.
I began doing the research, belatedly, on Hashimotos… And things began to fall into place .. did you know that when you have an autoimmune disease your body slows or stops the production of endorphins? Me either.. explains the depression. I knew that people with Hashi’s often have balance issues.. I did not know it attacks the vestibular system (located in the cerebellum, controls balance) Did you know autoimmune stuff runs in families? Type 1 diabetes, rheumatoid arthritis, PCOS … I’m convinced my mom had Hashimotos.
So then the reason for my crisis and all my research became clear. In November my granddaughter Skyler was diagnosed with Hashimotos Thyroiditis. She’s 11. I was heartbroken.
I went into a frenzy of research.. feeling like I had to find a cure so this baby doesn’t end up where I am at 40 or 50.. Hashi’s is frequently referred to as the canary in the coal mine, meaning other, more serious ones often follow. We went on an autoimmune protocol paleo diet. Strict. Skyler and I. Lori is going nuts.
So now you’ve got the back story, let me explain sygogglin’ skewwhiff..
I’ve always been a fairly active person. One foot in front of the other and keep going. Until I hit a wall I couldn’t push through caused by the Hashimotos.. I thought I grieved then!!! Oh no.. there’s levels of this thing.
When I would get “glutened” accidently, cross contamination or by cheating.. one of the things that would happen, besides the flu/hangover like symptoms.. was a feeling of being off balance .. a very uncomfortable feeling of floating when I lay down.. feeling like I was falling off a stool, hanging on to the wall to walk, listing off to one side, feeling like I don’t know where my body is spatially… Things I just attributed to gluten reaction..
Now it’s more days than not. And I cant find a trigger.
I’ve learned it’s called vertigo. And it may not go away.
I’m so mad. And hurt. And so many swirling emotions I can’t hang words on.
Zoie says I should make this thing my friend, use humor to deal with it. I think there’s wisdom in this.
So I’m looking for a name, I imagine when I’m staggering around like a drunk I probably look like a Sygogglin’ Skewwhiff!
That name may stick!
Y’all, if you followed us as a customer back when this blog was a vehicle for Spin a Yarn and Foxfire Holler, you won’t hurt my feelings a bit if you unsubscribe.. I surely do understand!
Love from the holler, Nancy